Heart Eyes Review

Love at First Slice

Valentine’s Day is a time for love, romance, and, apparently, getting absolutely annihilated by a knife-wielding lunatic. Josh Ruben’s Heart Eyes is the perfect date movie—if your ideal date involves running for your life while dodging both awkward exes and axes. It’s a film that understands two things: love is terrifying, and so is getting stabbed on the most romantic day of the year.

Murder, But Make It a Comedy

From the Werewolves Within director, Heart Eyes delivers a perfect blend of horror and comedy, serving up slasher flick tension with the kind of rapid-fire humor that would make Gilmore Girls jealous. The dialogue is whip-smart, the one-liners are relentless, and the jokes are so good you’ll be laughing even while watching people get brutally unalived.

Even the supporting cast is comedy gold. Ally’s best friend Monica (Gigi Zumbado) is dealing with an arthritic sugar daddy (because why not?), and Detectives Hobbs (Devon Sawa) and Shaw (Jordana Brewster) might just be the most hilariously useless law enforcement duo since Hot Fuzz. Their crime-solving strategy is basically vibes only, which makes for some of the best gags in the movie.

A Killer Look (Literally)

The Heart Eyes Killer’s mask? Absolute nightmare fuel. The glowing heart-shaped eyes are equal parts goofy and terrifying—like if Tinder decided to really commit to ruining your life.

Heart Eyes isn’t just great—it’s hilarious, bloody, and just self-aware enough to balance the comedy with the kills. If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Scream, Friday the 13th, and Halloween had a baby raised on a steady diet of 2000s rom-coms and slasher flicks—this is that movie.

Get ready for this year’s new favourite Halloween costume!

4 Stars.